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Being
pregnant too soon isn’t the end of the world, although it may feel like it
right now. You have some hard decisions coming up that no one can make
for you. We would love to talk to you in person. Please give us a call
toll free at 1-888-568-2758. Until then, here are answers to a few of the
questions
most young women in your position ask us . . .
#1 — How can anyone carry a baby for 9 months and then give it away?
That’s the toughest question to answer; and it’s not a simple answer
either. It takes a lot of love to do something that will ultimately be
very difficult for you. It’s hard to understand now how rewarding it can
be to realize you have given a loving couple something they are unable to
give themselves. Of course, the main person in the equation is your child.
By selecting a loving family, you are choosing to give your child what you
can’t give him on your own.
#2 — Who selects the parents for my baby?
You do! You will be given profiles to read and pictures to look at
compiled by waiting parents. Your child will grow up with the family you
select.
#3 — Will I ever see my baby?
That depends on you and your preferences. You choose the level of openness
you want in your adoption. You can see and hold your baby in the hospital.
You can meet the adoptive parents. You can give the baby small gifts.
After your baby goes home with his/her adoptive family you can receive
pictures, letters, videos and even arrange visits. “Open adoption” is a
way for you and your child to know each other while he/she is growing. On the
other hand, you may choose as little contact as you like. Adoptive parents
respect your privacy as well as your need to know your child is being well
cared for.
#4 — How soon will my baby go home with his adoptive parents?
That depends on two things — your choice of how soon that should happen
and what the laws are in your area. Usually your child is able to be with
his parents very soon after his birth.
#5 — What about the birthfather? Does he have rights?
Yes he does, and our birthparent counselors will be happy to talk with
him, too. If you are no longer in a relationship with him, our birthparent
counselor will contact him about terminating his parental rights. If you
are still together we will be happy to work with you as a couple.
#6 — How can I be sure my baby will be well cared for?
Our adoptive parents are carefully screened and professional social
workers examine their background, their marriage and their ability to be
good parents. You also have the option of staying in contact with them so
you can see for yourself how your child is doing.
#7 — Is this going to cost me any money?
Our agency services are free to you and all legal and medical fees will be
paid by the adoptive family after the adoption takes place.
#8 — Am I selfish to consider adoption?
Adoption is a gift of love in every way. You are a caring and unique
person because you are willing to at least look at the option of adoption.
It shows that you are considering what is best for your baby. Making an
adoption plan is making a choice that is loving and unselfish.
#9 — If I decide to make an adoption plan today, can I still change my
mind?
This is a serious decision and one that will eventually become permanent.
You may still change your mind after the birth of your baby, up to the
time your parental rights are terminated.
#10 — What happens after the adoption?
Our birthparent counselors will stay in contact with you and help you
follow up on the goals you have set during your pregnancy. They will help
you talk through your feelings and make sure you know you’re not alone.
Some birthmothers keep in contact with their birthparent counselor for
years, always knowing there will be a caring voice on the other end of the
phone if they need to talk.