Frequently Asked Questions
Having an unplanned pregnancy isn’t the end of the world, although it may feel like it right now. You have tough decisions ahead of you that no one can make for you. We would love the opportunity to meet with you and talk about your situation and the options available to you. Feel free to contact us toll free 1-888-568-2758 or view our Office Locations to locate a counselor in your state. Until then, here are answers to a few of the questions most women and men in your position ask us . . .
#1 — How can anyone carry a baby for 9 months and then "give it away"?
That’s the toughest question to answer; and it’s not a simple answer either. It takes a lot of love to do something that will ultimately be very difficult for you. It’s hard to understand now how rewarding it can be to realize you have given a loving couple something they are unable to give themselves. Of course, the main person in the equation is your child. By selecting a loving family, you are choosing to give your child what you can’t give him/her on your own.
#2 — Who selects the parents for my baby?
You do! You will be given profiles to read and pictures to look at compiled by waiting parents. Your child will grow up with the family you select.
#3 — Will I ever see my baby?
That depends on you and your preferences. You choose the level of openness you want in your adoption. You can see and hold your baby in the hospital. You can meet the adoptive parents. You can give the baby small gifts. After your baby goes home with his/her adoptive family you can receive pictures, letters, videos and even arrange visits. “Open adoption” is a way for you and your child to know each other while he/she is growing. On the other hand, you may choose as little contact as you like. Adoptive parents respect your privacy as well as your need to know your child is being well cared for.
#4 — How soon will my baby go home with his adoptive parents?
That depends on two things — your choice of how soon that should happen and what the laws are in your area. Usually your child is able to be with his parents very soon after his/her birth.
#5 — What about the birthfather? Does he have rights?
Yes he does, and our birthparent counselors will be happy to talk with him, too. If you are no longer in a relationship with him, our birthparent counselor will contact him about terminating his parental rights. If you are still together we will be happy to work with you as a couple.
#6 — How can I be sure my baby will be well cared for?
Our adoptive parents are carefully screened and professional social workers examine their background, their marriage and their ability to be good parents. You also have the option of staying in contact with them so you can see for yourself how your child is doing.
#7 — Is this going to cost me any money?
Our agency services are free to you and all legal and medical fees will be paid by the adoptive family after the adoption takes place.
#8 — Am I selfish to consider adoption?
Adoption is a gift of love in every way. You are a caring and unique person because you are willing to at least look at the option of adoption. It shows that you are considering what is best for your baby. Making an adoption plan is making a choice that is loving and unselfish.
#9 — If I decide to make an adoption plan today, can I still change my mind?
This is a serious decision and one that will eventually become permanent. You may still change your mind after the birth of your baby, up to the time your parental rights are terminated.
#10 — What happens after the adoption?
Our birthparent counselors will stay in contact with you and help you follow up on the goals you have set during your pregnancy. They will help you talk through your feelings and make sure you know you’re not alone. Some birthmothers keep in contact with their birthparent counselor for years, always knowing there will be a caring voice on the other end of the phone if they need to talk.